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Avengers Undercover #9 Review

Well, after the events of last issue things can either go good, or they can go pear-shaped. Which happens now? Read my review of Avengers Undercover #9 and find out.

The comic picks up where it last left off, with the Avengers flying towards Bagalia and into Zemo’s trap. Ax-Bro, on the other hand, just finished his flight as Cullen’s Soul Beast beats him like a drum. Hellstrom tells him to just stay down since he’s just putting them in their place and they were pawns who don’t need to die for this to work. Ax-Bro, however, doesn’t care about living so long as he saves Cullen.

Hazmat and Nico show up to hold off Hellstrom while Ax-Bro manages to snap Cullen out of it, which earns him a kiss he wasn’t expecting. The Avengers show up about now and back the kids while Hellstrom calls in his own backup and soon we have a free-for-all. Or at least it looked that way until Zemo gives the word and Hellstrom teleports the bad guys out and seals the entrance to Bagalia, trapping them inside as Alex then returns to Hell.

Zemo pretty much takes the Helicarrier they bought with them by killing everyone on-board. He then has Deathlocket hack the ship and take control of it. They intend to go even further, but as the comic ends we see that Cammi has escaped her prison and is on-board as well.

Okay, review time.

I’m kinda disappointed with how this ended up. For starters, even though covers always lie, I wanted to see Zemo and Ant-Man at least attempting to go at it. Alex went back to Hell, which he shouldn’t have been in for starters by Canon, and Chase is a vegetable, which leaves Nico as the only Runaway in the story and they’re shilling that she’s leveled up but we didn’t see any of that beyond a single spell and hit-and-run. This was unsatisfying overall, but it is a major part of the plot.

3 out of 5.


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July 2014 Sugar Bits Update 2


Read the rest of the comics at Snafu-Comics


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May 2014 Grim Tales Update 1


Read the rest of the comics at Snafu-Comics


Magneto #1 Review

Magneto (2014-) 001-000Something violent to wash down the aftertaste of this week’s Uncanny X-Men

The Master of Magnetism has struck out on his own and I’ll be following along in the path of destruction he has laid out as we review the first issue of the Magneto solo series.

The story starts in Cape Girardean, Missouri, where some unfortunate barista is having the pleasure of being questioned about the murder that transpired moments ago. And when I say murder, I mean the victim got skewered by sign posts through his mouth until he was pinned to the ground. The barista states that the assassin knew his routine and had a brief discussion before he ripped the fillings out of the victim’s mouth, threw him into the street, and then replaced them with said sign posts, and that for this guy killing was like autopilot.

We then go to Kansas, where Magneto contemplates his circumstances in the motel. He knows he’s got a one-way trip to hell, but right now what he’s doing is for the greater good of mutants and so his actions are all that matters. This is shown in a minor flashback to when he met the victim of the murder, who contributed to many of the Anti-Mutant organizations even if he never once pulled the trigger himself. Magneto made him pay for what he did in the past by taking away his future and he would do the same for others.

It’s then a maid arrives and gives him some newspapers that he asked for. He can tell she knows the name he’s given her is an alias and that he’s dangerous, but very few people know what Magneto looks like without the helmet. Still, he makes sure to tip her very well. Never let it be said he was mean to the help.

He then goes to his poster board map, which outlines where he’s tracking down the enemies of mutants. He’s lower on resources than before, going from some of the most sophisticated tech to old laptops and newspaper clippings, but he’s still managed to stay out of the hands of SHIELD and those who would be interested in him. SHIELD’s gone as far as to place fake reports of attacks on mutants to draw him out, but he can tell real from fake and figures they won’t take him seriously until he hits a target too big to ignore.

Until then he focuses on his next target, in Mountain Air, California. It took him awhile to get there since he was flying under the radar, and while tracking the killer of three mutants was easy enough he didn’t expect him to turn himself in. Magneto acknowledges that he’s jailed, but thinks that’s too little of a punishment and not nearly severe enough for the grimness of his crime.

So he strolls into a police station and calmly calls forth all the metal he can to clear out the cops while reforming a helmet to match the rocking black motif he’s got going on. I doubt it’ll offer him psychic protection like the normal one does, but it’s the image that counts. After taking care of the police in the way, he confronts the killer who seems frightful and wants him to leave, even shocked that he murdered someone. Then the freaky stuff happens.

His chest tears open, his arms twist into weaponry, and he opens fire upon Magneto. He’s a poor-man’s version of the Omega Sentinel, a human turned into a death machine. Magneto puts him out of his misery by ripping the machinery away, leaving him dying and in pain.

In the man’s final moments Magneto asks who turned him into that monster, realizing he was as much of a victim as those he killed. He gets a location and relates to his pain of being unable to stop himself like he was on autopilot. And then he swears to find the ones responsible for this and make them pay as well as the first issue ends.

Okay, review time.

Now, this was a good start overall. The plot picks up some time after Magneto dropped a building on Mystique and flew off, so we’re catching up on what he’s like after doing this for some time. There’s no time wasted in-between and we get straight to the grittiness that’s evident in the artwork.

Character-wise, I felt Magneto was spot on. He’s always had mutants’ best interest at heart and punishes those who deserved it for endangering the species. While he’s had moments where he was a flat-out villain, the current version of him tries not to overdo the killing of innocents or straight-up human bashing. You could see it on his face in the final page that he felt bad about it, but there was really little choice in the matter…that being said, if you try to lynch him after he saves your ass from a train wreck, he will drop all the wreckage on you.

I can’t really think of any faults to the story for the opening of the series and it was a decent read, so I’m giving Magneto #1 (2014) a perfect 5 out of 5.


Uncanny X-Men #18 Review

Uncanny X-Men v3 018-000

Fair Warning: This Review Contains Heavy Swearing

…Yeah, I can’t say I’m enthusiastic about this art or issue but I’ve been reviewing the series for a minute and that means I write about the good and the bad. And boy was there a lot of bad in Issue #18 of Uncanny X-Men. So I going to do this, but it’s going to be short and I will be using many, many swear words.

The story begins with the NXS kids and staff returning from somewhere in what appears to be the Blackbird, sometime after the botched Tabula Rasa training mission judging from how they say Tempus has been nagging on Cyclops to take Hijack back into their group for some time. You wouldn’t know time had passed given that her hair is short again while Phoebe’s is missing a distinctive shade of red. Yeah, if I didn’t have enough issues with the art before, I’m going to bitch about that later on. Anyway, it’s the aftermath of the beginning of the Trial of Jean Grey event and as such they find the All New X-Men group gone and the flashbacks begin.

The first one starts with two weeks ago, where Cyclops is training with his broken powers when Magik decides to bring Kitty to meet with him and then goes to hold the rest of the NXS back so they don’t interfere while the two come to terms with themselves. Kitty pretty much puts her fingers inside his head and threatens to kill him by un-phasing just enough for it to damage his brain. Arguments that have already been fucking discussed get brought up again, which understandable given it is a flashback to before BotA, and they whine about it for a minute until he asks her what she needs, which we already knew was a place to stay with the Teenage Original 5 X-Men.

Then, a week later, they pick up with the O5 arriving and some of the worst scenes in the series with Emma Frost bitching about bringing teenage Jean Grey to stay with them. And then the scene between Cyclops and Teen Jean and Teen Cyclops was…lackluster. It was not only short, but what should have been an emotional session that tugged at my heartstrings was a waste of three pages.

Back in the present they wonder what steps they should take next. These range from securing a space-craft and going after them, trusting them to make it on their own and so on. It then ends with Cyclops firing into the sky.

Okay, review time…

AngryStickman

What. The. Hell?

Leaving aside the fact that this art is not my cup of tea—I mean come on, the continuity errors with Eva and Phoebes’ appearances, the lack of eyes some times, the horrendous expressions, and the sheer amount of wasted space was something that spits in the face of those who bought the comic—what is wrong with the writer?

Having Eva whining about Hijack twelve times like a little girl?  Come on now, you can do better when you come from the future. Given some legitimate reasons like if he goes rogue or something, and then take Cyclops, Emma, Magik, and the Stepford sisters, into a private room and do that psychic projection thing that they did in Battle of the Atom so they have a leg up on what’s going down.

And then Emma? What was this? She was practically cordial to her teenage-rival in Battle of the Atom and to this damn point in this series. Granted the moment she saw an adult Jean Grey she tried to gouge out her eyes, but we all knew that was coming. Being so childish and saying she would bring a baby Colossus to their time and see how they liked it…that doesn’t make any sense coming from the former White Queen and Headmistress of the X-Men.

And then the reunion between Cyclops, Jeen, and Tyke? Short, inconclusive, and a waste of three pages like I said prior. This could have gone a lot better, and I mean that in every sense of the word.

And then the plot? Wasted. We just got one team member kicked off, one sent to the future or past and back, and a looming confrontation with SHIELD…and you give me this piece of garbage, Marvel?  The majority of the issue covered the prelude and aftermath of the ANXM kids coming to the school. They turned what should have been inserted directly after that waste of time and money that was the most useless crossover of the year, Battle of the Atom, into a goddamn filler piece that does little to nothing and keeps away from the meat of the good stuff. And there was no damn closure at the end at that.

This issue…words do not begin to describe how disappointed I am. People were already whining Cyclops’ revolution was taking too long, and you put useless filler that would have been better several issues ago in with bad art?  Fuck you, Marvel, for adding to the problem when I legitimately like the series.

This Issue is getting a 1 out of 5.


New Warriors #1 Review

New Warriors (2014-) 001-000

I came for the Scarlet Spider and I stayed for what seemed to be the great beginnings of a new series to read. So, armed with some rudimentary knowledge of all but Kaine and his side-kick, join me as I review the first issue of the New Warriors.

The opening panel reveals a bloody trail, being left behind as a clearly sentient half-bull humanoid creature is trying to crawl its way to safety and past the fallen corpses of its brethren, all while asking why this happened. A voice tells it to try not to speak, but it asks why their kind were being killed and what was it that they did that was so wrong it warranted their deaths. The figure that was responsible for the slaughter states they did nothing wrong, but they were never meant to exist and judgment befalls even the innocent. And then it kills the innocent being while claiming for the sake of humanity’s survival…

So basically it’s following the creed of virtually every Purifier in existence.

The scene then skips to New Salem, where Speedball and Justice are continuing their road trip from leaving Avengers Academy and are engaging in combat with a group called the Salem Seven. It turns out, much like most brawls between heroes, that it all began with a misunderstanding when Speedball attacked one of their more frightening members because of how he looked. That’s profiling, something that you would think a hero would know better than to do.

Meanwhile, in Mexico, Kaine and Aracely continue their vaunt through the land south of the border after the events of the Scarlet Spider series when they come across a couple of tourist being mugged. Kaine, after being coerced into it by Aracely, dawns his outfit and doles out brutal justice by stabbing his stinger through one of the muggers’ wrist, giving the other the Mark of Kaine (use sticky power with hand on face and then pull away for maximum pain and scar), and Aracely finishes it up by inducing the other into running with her powers over emotions by giving him a fear of spiders. He then yells at the tourists he saved, telling them to get out of Mexico, keeping with his nature during his time in Houston.

Back in New York, aka Hero Central, Sun Girl takes down some punk robbing an armored truck. She then goes in search for more crime, although when she hears the name Spider-Man she feels disgusted because she was there in the Team-Up series when his mind-control over the Sinister Six failed and…well, Otto left a bad impression. She then heads over to Grand Central station when an explosion goes off since she was close by.

Back in New Salem, Speedball somehow managed to dig himself out of trouble and ends up playing games with the guy trying to kill him while Vertigo gives Justice a tour of New Salem. It turns out it’s a town of magicians and a safe haven for people born of magic. The Salem Seven were known as the Children of the Devil and have changed in an attempt to make it safe, which for some reason makes me think of Nico Minoru and the Runaways.

Justice, on the other hand, as part of the New Warriors has to deal with the stigma associated with their group being the cause of the Civil War Crossover Event and the Hero Registration that made Iron Man and Mister Fantastic Fans afraid to admit it when they kept kicking the dog. Speedball pushed a guy with explosive powers into a bus full of school children and, since the guy was juiced up on some super MGH, he killed everything nearby including elementary kids. That royal fuck-up has not been forgotten, but before either one can talk any further some flaming guys come in and say to burn them all for having tainted blood with one being a half-breed (Vertigo), and the other being a Mutant (Justice).

Back in Mexico Kaine and Aracely are catching some rays on a beach with money he stole from drug traffickers before he left Houston. Aracely wants to be doing something heroic with their powers, saying it’s their responsibility, but Kaine states he tried that in Houston and it nearly got all the people he cared for killed in what was the result of sleeping with a girl whose father he put into a coma, Kraven gutting a doctor and pissing off his cop husband, and turning into a big-ass spider monster to settle things with the climatic villain that came out of nowhere. Unfortunately his vacation comes to an end when a bunch of dead Atlantians dye the water red with their blood as one survivor, Faira Sar Namora, pops out and says she is seeking heroes…he can’t win.

Sungirl goes to check out the situation and sees that the flaming guys from New Salem are also in the subway, killing what appears to be either mutants, aliens, or inhumans. Not too clear on which one. They also appear to kill an Alien who was harassing Nova, only for the guy from the beginning who killed the bull people to shoot him in the back and claim they have plans for the Alien-Hybrid (Nova), ending the issue on a cliff-hanger.

Okay, review time.

Now my knowledge is limited to what I can gleam off wikia on the villains of the piece, but the Evolutionaries were the species that came before humans until an advance race took pity on them and gave them upgrades before assigning them to protect the species furthest along the evolutionary chain, which were mutants before. That included a plan to wipe out humanity, something that would make them the Anti-Bastions, but Cyclops killed all but one of them supposedly. I’m thinking they got reprogrammed in the wake of the Inhumanity event, but I can’t be certain until the plot unfolds.

Like I said before I came for the Scarlet Spider, but the majority of the cast seems interesting, the art is lovely, and I liked the interaction between Vertigo and Justice. The plot is akin to virtually every anti-mutant one I’ve read, but it’s too early to label it as such and the destination isn’t as important as the journey when it comes to plots. So I’m willing to give it a chance and an 5 out of 5 rating for an opening issue.


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Ultimate Comics All-New Spider-man #25 Review

Ultimate Comics Spider-Man v2 025-000

This issue is mostly Identity Crisises in a Nutshell

Hello all,

Now, I’ve only recently gotten into American Comics this year due to…well, I don’t remember. I think it was learning that Doc Ock stole Peter’s body in Superior Spider-man.  But the important thing is I decided to give this reviewing thing a shot and I’ll start with the one from the series I’ve fallen in love with in the Ultimate Marvel Universe and based this fanfic off of.

In this quick review of Ultimate Comics All-New Spider-Man, which will simply be Ultimate Spider-Man from here on to save time, we cover Issue #25.

In this issue we have the aftermath of Cloak, Dagger, and Bombshell’s little tussle that ended up wrecking Gwen Stacy’s workplace. Now, this is New York post-ultimatum  so that sort of thing is nothing new, but the issue that presents itself here is that there are conflicting opinions amongst the majority.

Gwen Stacy feels that Miles needs to take on the mantle of Spider-Man once more. She feels betrayed since she and May Parker opened their hearts to him and passed the mantle of Spider-Man to Miles personally. She knows a bit of what he’s going through since her father, and her technically, both died because of Spider-Man’s enemies.

May feels differently in the fact that he should decide for himself the path he takes. In addition, she has always been vocal about not letting little children (which Miles counts as in her eyes) fight against the types of enemies heroes do. She witnessed her nephew die in front of her eyes facing off against six superpowered enemies with a bullet in his gut. It’s natural that she wouldn’t want the cycle to repeat.

Katie Bishop, Mile’s girlfriend, knows something is off since he’s broody. There’s a bit of humor in the issue in that she thinks Miles and Ganke had a fight about Ganke having a crush on him. The fact that this is the second time it has been brought up and by his girlfriend this tiime only serves to amuse me as so far Ganke has only showed extreme interest in Legos and getting Miles in the black and red spandex…okay, that’s too easy. I’m not going to crack a joke about that.

Ganke points out that he’s saved so many people because he acted, but Miles doesn’t want to be pushed by everyone to get into the role of the webslinger again. The issue Miles has is that he’s lost his mother. It’s understandable as his greatest fear was that being Spider-Man would endanger his loved ones.

He was completely right.

His father was crippled when Venom came to his door based on a lousy reporter making a guess that labeled his father as Spider-Man. His doting uncle became an abusive asshole who tried to push him into crime and threatened to out him to his parents. His mother was shot because Venom went after his father again (and she plugged the symbiote with several rounds to save her son), and the police have a hard-on for trying to shoot at anyone in a costume or with powers post-ultimatum, despite he was a 13-year old runt at the time.

He feels the weight of a mantle that wasn’t originally his and the deaths of his loved ones on his shoulders.

We then skip back to Dagger and Cloak’s transformation and how they escaped. Naturally, they don’t exactly feel comfortable about what they’ve become, the literal physical manifestations of light and darkness. Given that in the earlier volumes Tandy had issues with mutants, its rather karmic but they still didn’t deserve to be turned into human guinea pigs and had their deaths faked.

Eventually the one who drives Miles to act is Jessica Drew, Spider-Woman, and clone of Peter Parker.

She admits she’s got some identity issues that come from cloning, but she’s doing what she can to be her own woman.  She and Miles are the result of people fucking with the natural order in an attempt to recreate Captain America and got it right to an extent. She points out that SHIELD won’t do a damn thing since they’re in deep and it’s for reasons like that Spider-Man is needed, so that what happens to them doesn’t happen to others.

So that innocent people don’t suffer at the hands of Roxxon’s tampering.

Jessica doesn’t force him to do anything, not after she brought up his mother the first time they met after the time skip. She doesn’t try to force him into the mask like the others do, not by slapping him like Gwen or calling him a coward like Ganke. Out of everyone else, she comes off as the most sincere.

The result?

Ultimate Comics Spider-Man v2 025-017He’s Back

Overall this issue was…drama-heavy. I’m an action junkie, I need action, but this tugged at my heartstrings and the angst was understandable. The art was lovely and without a doubt that last page is beautiful.

My Rating is a 4/5.