Batman and Superman switch powers, Pt. 1
He always said he was afraid of having too much power because he was a step away from his enemies in terms of mental stability. This only proves why he should remain the pinnacle of human ability without superpowers…. and a lot of cash.
Our title’s on the nose today. Batman gets all of Superman’s powers and Superman gets all of Batman’s powers (nothing). It’s a brilliant idea. Batman’s personality flaws revolving his obsessions and unending justice get blown open wonderfully when he actually has the powers to act out his unending justice obsessions. We’ll take a look at this mess in Superman/Batman #53-56, written by Michael Green & Mike Johnson and drawn by Rags Morales.
Like all good Superman and Batman arcs, the story begins with their contrasting viewpoints. Spoiler alert: they think differently.
How could you not love panels of Superman in Gotham City? His outfit’s a primary color nightmare against the browns and grays of Gotham, and the wild optimism of Superman’s ideals against the city that attempts to prove him wrong. I love it, almost as much as I love the idea of Firefly getting taken out by Superman in…
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September 2014 PPGD Update 2
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RWBY Season 2: Episode 8
The episode begins with Ironwood, Goodwitch, and Ozpin are in his office and Ironwood is less than pleased that their enemy got in so easily when Ruby shows up. She tries to lighten the mood to little success before they ask her if she recognized Cinder, but all they could gather she might be the woman who attacked her the first night and Ruby tips them off about the location where Torchwick mentioned their operation was going down before she leaves.
Ironwood takes her tip and sent every force he could down there to obliterate whatever is they find there. Goodwitch thinks he goes overboard, but Ozpin think it should be a little more discreet before it causes a panic. Meanwhile Ruby and Yang’s dog somehow gets sent in the mail, to which Weiss does a 180 in personality, and Blake acts like a cat and jumps on her bed… really, we’re pushing the cat thing that far? Anyway they need to go to an attendance before a field trip and, since they can’t leave the dog alone that long, Ruby sneaks him into her backpack.
They then go to a speech where we learn that parents started naming their children after color since the Great War started over some forces were intent on destroying art and culture and they’ll basically be shadowing a huntsman for a week to get a feel for their jobs. The girls see it as a chance to continue their investigation, but the mission is too high-level for their class. Ozpin then shows up and basically reveals he knows they’re gonna end up there anyway, so he just lets them go so they don’t have to break the rules and tells them just to be ready because it’s getting real now.
Velvet’s team shows up at the end. Her mission was delayed because there were so many Grimm, but they’ll be fine since they’re only shadowing a huntsman. The video end as they find out Oobleck is the huntsman they’re shadowing….
Well, we learned that Ozpin indeed knows everything and is simply letting them get away with it as long as they’re doing good and Velvet has a bit of an accent and is possibly a second-year or higher… so why was she getting bullied by Cardin?
Anyway, 3 out of 5.
Edge of Spide-Verse #3 Review
The Edge of Spider-Verse continues with the third issue! What fate will befall the Spider-Man of this story! Read my review and find out!
This time our Spider-Man isn’t a variation of Peter Parker, but a guy named Aaron Aikiman who worked in researching insect venom for medical purposes. They don’t go into details why he decided to inject himself with his treatment, but he basically becomes Iron Man and Spider-Man all rolled into one. After going through a summary of his life and relationship, which honestly is confusing because they’re trying so hard, we then skip to him patrolling the city to deal with a rash of kidnappings.
He catches the creature responsible, only it turns out to be one of the victims and as soon as it gives a cryptic message he has to rush the guy to the hospital. There he finds out its some of his tech responsible of it, or rather that belonging to his girlfriend, and he goes to confront her about it. Turns out she made the tech for her daughter when she woke from a coma, only it was some otherworldly creature that possessed her and had her make more machines to kidnap more people and continue the cycle.
He rushes out to deal with that, but before he could do anything, Morlun pops out of a dimensional doorway to confront him as the baddies run off saying mankind is doomed as the comic ends….
Okay review time….
Yeah, that world is screwed and that spider-man is dead. Morlun is far more of a threat than Karn is, so you know he’s dead. Overall I really couldn’t get into this story though. I get what they were doing, trying to show that Karn isn’t the only one actively hunting, but using an unfamiliar character and trying to cram that much backstory into a one-shot isn’t going to cut it. Unless Aaron somehow survives, this is the last we’ll see of him and it makes the issue kind of a waste…
2 out of 5, you can skip it and you won’t miss much.
Magneto #10 (2014) Review
Magneto has been captured by the Red Skull! What cruel fate awaits him? Read on and find out!
Our comic opens with Magneto strapped to an upright table where he laments that he trusted his failing powers rather than using his secret weapons, thinking if he had another chance he would use it. Red Skull shows up with the turtle guy and then he basically mocks him about having Charles’ brain and then put an illusion in his mind of the Nazi who he failed to kill back then, Hitzig, to break him mentally before turtle guy does physically, giving him fifteen minutes top. Yeah, he should have killed him when he had the chance and I say that to both of them.
Magneto retreats into his memories to withstand the mental torture. He chooses when Luna was born, but that memory gets perverted by Hitzig, who tells him he’s been running since they met and still can’t escape him and he wasted his powers. He then goes to when his first child was killed in a fire since it reminds him why he fights, and then with Rogue in the Savage Lands I’m assuming, but both of those get twisted as well. And kicker was the destruction of Genosha, but that one did him in.
For the first time in the series, Magneto just flatly gives up now that he is no longer able to retreat into his memories. Turtle boy then gets ready to carve out his eye before Rogue, Scarlet Witch, and Havok popped up to save him. I know it seems contrived, but it actually makes sense if you’ve stomached the latest Uncanny Avengers. To save time, the S-Men broke into the Avengers Mansion and kidnapped Scarlet Witch and Rogue while Alex was nabbed off the street after having half his face burned off and losing his daughter to Kang. It’s that kind of comic.
Anyway, they bust in and save him and he decides to keep his promise about having a second chance. He bites into his skin, where he apparently has a stash of MGH made for him two issues ago planted. The comic ends as he suddenly gets a boost of power with the intention of completely fucking up the Red Skull.
Okay, review time.
Uh… not much here that we didn’t know in terms of development to be honest. If anything I’m more upset that he gave in near the end there. But I guess we need downs and ups for a balanced comic. It gets a 3 out of 5.
New Warriors #10 Review
Okay, things are hurrying along in both my life and the story, so let’s hop right into my review of New Warriors #10.
The comic begins with the High Evolutionary and the other guy extracting DNA from a deviant they captured inside of the Arctic Circle, before they get into a bitching match when the New Warriors track them down with their own tech and begin their final battle with the two who tried to kill them to end all off-shoots of humanity. High Evolutionary takes Sun Girl because she did screw him over while the rest clean up the mooks, but Haechi backs her up. The fight actually goes well until Hummingbird peeks into his brain to see exactly he’s afraid of.
His fears are that the Celestials will kill the human race, seeing them as a failed experiment, which they’ve already tried and failed to do in Uncanny Avengers before. I’m not seeing the problem here, but either way the vision basically gives High Evolutionary a second wind and he downs half the team before throwing Scarlet Spider into a device to lock him out of the fight, proclaiming he wants to save the human race and he’s going to use their team to power his gene bomb. Justice decides it’s time to call in back-up and brings the Cat and Dog duo armed with guns.
But not just any guns, these were made by High Evolutionary to de-evolve things, made to fight the Evolutionaries. Combined with Hummingbird’s emotion manipulation, it basically turns the two on one another while they mop up the rest and it seems like the New Warriors are going to win. Then the cat takes a blow for the dog that turns him into ashes, thus pissing everyone off or leaving them in shock. The lead evolutionary wisely decides to try and kill Hummingbird while her back is turned and she’s grieving, but Scarlet Spider shoots him and puts an end to that.
So it appears the day is saved, right up until the children of the Celestials who popped up in the cliffhanger of a previous chapter, the Eternal Children, show up and tell them they’ve come to save humanity from them. Round 2 next issue.
Okay, review time.
This issue basically picks up where it should have after that fiasco with the Avengers. From what I know the series has like two issues left, so they have to wrap things up, meaning that they’re going to skip over all that crap with Namora from the look of it. Still, it was a solid issue and they didn’t drag it out.
4 out of 5.
Grim Tales September 2014 Update 2
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Superior Spider-Man #33 (Edge of Spider-Verse) Review
Okay, Superior Spider-Man continues into Spider-Verse with Issue #33 of his series. Read my recap and review for my thoughts on Otto’s crusade through time and space.
The comic begins with another Spider-Man being hunted down by the douche in the mask with the energy halberd. He shanks him only to learn this one was a cyborg and he brought with him a little help in the form of the Superior Spider-Man and his colleagues of anti-heroes. They pin him down and Spider-Girl and Assassin Spider want to finish him while the rest are hesitant, until Otto tells them that comes after the interrogation.
The dude tells them that his kind kills their kind, and they should pray they don’t meet his family before busting out of the containment field from overloading it. They hammer him, but he doesn’t go down. Even after Spider-Girl jams a metal pipe through him and Assassin Spider blows him up, things only get worse as two more show up and wound Six-Armed Spider-Man and Cyborg Spider. The hunters are Karn, Brix, and Bora and they force the others to retreat, but not before Karn is injured by Spider-Monkey because the Bora threw her knives and they basically start beating on one another.
The Spider-Men are more than a little distraught at the new arrivals, but Otto leaves out to give himself time to think lamenting that they are mostly variations of Peter Parker and he’s a one of a kind special and that may not be enough in the long run. But he won’t simply run away because his Anna Marie might get caught in the crossfire if he tries, so he goes and assigns the Spiders in his army to different tasks. As for Assassin Spider and Spider-Girl, he takes them aside and mentions they may have to commit genocide to win and the others might disapprove, but those two will do whatever it takes to survive and acknowledge it as their side of the comic ends.
We then skip to Earth-1771 where Karn of the Inheritors goes against not some mortal totem of the Spider Essence, but a god of it who poisons him down to the soul. Karn recalls that centuries ago, in Universe 000 he and his family, including Morlun, are attacking the Master Weaver who weaves the web of life and destiny. The weaver hampers them, but does not fear Karn who he calls the Chosen One as he was the only one who took no pleasure in death, but wished to build and not destroy.
He hesitates at the words, as he was only there to prove his worth to his mother. But his mother jumped the gun and got killed for it, taking away the one person who showed him love. His father and siblings captured the Master Weaver and harnessed its power to travel through the multi-verse, while putting a mask on him to mark his shame and send him to a new dimension to hunt forever until he would earn his place back amongst his family.
He then jumps back to the present and draws strength from the god, stating it only makes him a more filling meal. He sees his pain as unending, hoping that with each portal he takes one will lead him home.
Okay, review time….
Well, nice to see Otto’s ego hasn’t deflated. Assassin Spider and Spider-Girl are clearly his supporters and we can see they’re the ones who will back him with anything he does as long as they survive. Karn’s past was surprisingly somber, leaving me conflicted. On one hand, he’s murdering Spider-Men left and right. On the other, he was unfortunate to have been raised by those bastards….
Issue gets a 5 out of 5.
Edge of Spider-Verse #2 Review
The Edge of Spider-Verse continues in Issue #2 as we look into the origins of Gwen Stacy, the Spider-Woman. Whether it’s a thinly-veiled pilot for a series or just an origin story for a major player in the crossover, read my review on how good it is.
The story begins with a college-aged Gwen Stacy as part of a band known as the Mary Janes, lead by her version of MJ. They waste no time in showing her origin story, where she was bitten by a spider, Peter Parker was bullied until he took the Lizard formula and died in her arms, and JJJ has put an arrest warrant out for her led by her father…. I honestly think Gwen in this universe has it worse than Peter in terms of origin.
The memories manage to disturb her playing and MJ isn’t nearly as nice as her 616-counterpart, perhaps due to her age although Ultimate MJ is younger maybe and still tolerable, and Gwen goes out to clear her head while wearing her kick-ass outfit and talking to her father over the phone, who wants her to settle down and pick a major. The call ends as a random police officer who is clearly afraid of her decides to try and shoot at her, which is something all Spider-Men and Women seem to be going through lately, only she doesn’t get hit like Miles does. When back-up comes they begin to chase her.
In other news, we have a villainous Matt Murdock hiring an assassin on behest of the Kingpin to kill Gwen’s father in an effort to recruit Spider-Woman, who arrives late to her own performance as said assassin finds her father in the crowd and tries to kill him. Naturally she can’t let that happen and suits up to kick the brute’s dumb rear. She puts him through a brick wall and webs him up when her father tries to arrest her.
She tells him that Peter’s death wasn’t her fault, but it’s not his job to decide that, only to bring her in. She points out that JJJ’s angry mob or the incompetent police who tried to shoot her in a crowded subway aren’t exactly good incentives to give herself up. She then pulls off her mask and tells him that she needs to be Spider-Woman to put guys like the one who tried to kill him away and she’s not giving it up.
Her father let’s her go, but in the shadows we see a Spider-Man wearing British colors saying she’ll do nicely for some reason as the comic ends.
Okay, review time…
Okay, I have to say I like this story and this Gwen Stacy. While I’m no stranger to badass Gwens, like the one in Ultimate Universe, this one intrigues me with her stylish costume that provides next to no cover in the darkness yet contrasts it well. Then again, the police are more afraid of her than the 616-police are of Spider-Man, so there’s that. I certainly wouldn’t mind if they turned this into a series.
Anyway, 5 out of 5.
Uncanny X-Men #26 Review
What will the X-Men do in the face of the last will and testament of Charles Xavier? Read my review of Uncanny #26 and find out..
The comic opens with Maria Hill having a moment where she realizes nothing is going right in her life. That tends to happen when someone wakes up with the Power of God and next to no control over it, which happens to be worse than a villain since they aren’t likely to end the world while still on it. The Avengers who can handle this are off-world, the Fantastic Four are nowhere to be seen, and she has to evacuate the state to prevent any more casualties. Good luck with that.
Meanwhile the X-Men fair little better with Cyclops wanting to leave and daddy Wolverine and mommy Storm are telling him to get on his big boy shorts while ultimately Emma Frost tells him to get in the damn plane. I’ll chalk it up to the fact that they don’t know Malloy is currently laying waste to South Carolina as the reason they’re taking their sweet time on the plane rather than using Magik to teleport them or the fact that they think those few alone will be able to handle this. Still, a Cerebro scan should have been done prior to take-off.
The only person who’s making a lick of sense is Firestar, the outsider, who’s more of a X-Men than her crush, Ice Kid. No, I did not misspell his name. Until he grows up from being a brat who tried to freeze the world over and gets off his high-horse, he’s just a prick. Even Wolverine wasn’t this bad at his worse when it came to his drama with Cyclops and that’s saying something. Those two could more or less work together when something tries to kill them or wipe out their species and go out of their way to save one another before a giant robot crushes them.
Maria Hill tries to get her Psi-division to do a long-range hack on the poor, world-ending bastard’s head, but he ends up giving them the mind-crush treatment. Oh well, that’s unfortunate for them. But she did learn that he’s a mutant, and that means it’s time to go see the X-Men about that and pawn the danger off.
And to round out the number of whiners in this issue we have Triage suddenly having a problem with attacking the Avengers in a training simulation despite having met them at least twice now. In the first place, you’re the healer. You’re not supposed to fight, you’re suppose to heal and try not to get shot first even though you can apparently heal yourself, Elixir-lite. Also, I call bullshit on Hijack being thirty; he’s twenty-five at best.
As the comic ends Beast says they really might not come back from this as Maria Hill catches up to the group.
Okay, review time….
Let’s be frank here, this issue could have cut out the pages with the kids arguing semantics and that double spread of Malloy so they could get to the meat of the story and have Rachel get to work on his brain or Maria Hill could try sniping the poor sod or something else before she needs to call in the X-men. They’re dragging this event out for some marketing scheme or other and it bores me to tears, which is a disappointment since I’ve grown tired of God characters who have just been introduced and lead to an escalation in the story that’s more than unnecessary.
I’m all for slow build-up, but get to the revolution already.
I can honestly say that if you skip it you won’t miss much, 2 out of 5.
All-New X-Factor #14 Review + Rant
Well, after the family bonding moment last issue why stop now? In my review of All New X-Factor #14 we look into what happens when Wanda pops up to complete the Children of Magneto arc. No, it’s not a real arc but still…. Also, as soon as the review is over I’m going on a minor rant, fair warning.
Anyway, the comic begins with Danger asking Polaris if she wants to have sex. Polaris is promptly confused, but Danger simply wants to experience what it feels like. It’s then that Wanda pops up, with whom Danger has a better chance to score with. Now my feelings on her and what she’s done are plain as the day is blue in the middle of a cloudless summer sky, so I won’t go on a four page rant about it. I don’t really need to given that Polaris points it out and Wanda is only exasperated because she’s still holding it against her, which proves my point as much as Uncanny Avengers did.
Wanda has come to try and reconnect with her, although given the timing that seems a little contrived, but Danger suggest that they go to an old medieval fair and they’re off. There’s also a subplot about some jealous prick, but he’s a nobody and no one cares for shoehorned drama. There’s not really much to go on, Wanda wants to do some sibling bonding since Quicksilver doesn’t socialize well while Danger looks like Doctor Doom in a cloak and then the jealous guy tries to murder his ex-girlfriend in a witch burning that the three promptly stop and do something that’s in all rights illegal if Polaris actually let him die.
After that they go to a bar and Wanda tries to get Polaris to join the sellouts now that Quicksilver quit. Again, contrived timing for her to show up and she even reveals that Havok had Quicksilver join as a spy in a casual manner, which is something you would expect them to keep a secret so it doesn’t get back to the people you’re spying on. I swear Havok sent her and is sitting in a chair with his fingers steepled like Mr. Burns and saying “Excellent” since he knows that’s going to fuck up the team cohesion.
There’s also a minor incident where two of the dumbest robbers in history try to hit a bar that hasn’t even been open long enough to get a decent amount of money and has three super-powered heroines who should have tied them to a pole or something but let them go instead since they have the gun clips, I mean it isn’t like they can buy more or anything.
Okay, review time
There are some things that don’t make sense, like why Danger needs a cloak when she has holographic technology or why they let the bad guys go, but those are minor compared to the fact that Wanda has once again fucked up in a way that has created more shoehorned drama that I don’t like in a comic I do. I mean she couldn’t be satisfied with just getting some character development that may have lightened the immense dislike I had of her, which they sucked at attempting for the record, but she had to fuck over Quicksilver after he just had his and started getting into my good books.
Before I start ranting further, the comic gets a 2 out of 5 for being mediocre with the only plot relevant thing on the last page.
Now, I honestly don’t know whether to blame the writers who make her an unrepentant bitch or the character entirely.
It’s bad enough they made her a goddamn reason for the long-ass Twin Apocalypse and Planet-X part of Uncanny Avengers, which I still peruse and then toss in the garbage like Linkara because fire is too good for it, but they are intent on trying to make her unlikable with the whole Children’s Crusade retcon, which didn’t work either because she’s on a steady supply of bitch pills and Doctor Doom could do better.
Whether there’s a mandate at Marvel saying make her unredeemable or the authors stuck at redemption stories I don’t know, but you’d think at some point they’d just say fuck it all and send her to get some mental help or slap a power dampener on her so she doesn’t go on another genocide kick because of Daddy issues that made it possible for men like Red Skull and the Purifiers to take advantage of the damage left behind on top of the millions who died when their powers went haywire.
Honestly, this is the reason I cheered when Rogue gutted her and then swore when they made her apologize after Wanda finished banging Wonder Man. I think I speak for all of us that a happy ending involves her being depowered and living a humble life out of sight and mind. At this point death is too good for her character so going into comic book limbo would be more fitting.
Miles Morales: Ultimate Spider-Man #5 Review
Okay, if you’re confused about why there are two Spider-Men and Green Goblin is back, you’re not alone. But, in my review of Miles Morales: The Ultimate Spider-Man #5 we cover the aftermath of the fiasco last issue.
Our comic begins with Peter, if that is him, and Miles being held up by the police. They have orders not to use their guns because it’s a residential area, but as soon as the two make a break for it Miles gets shot. Again, Spider-Sense should negate that risk but he has the excuse of having a weaker version that Peter. Still, it’s nothing lethal and, with Maria Hill’s help, both manage to get away.
Anyway, the two fake Spider-Men are brothers who look nothing like the originals, so they aren’t clones. One wants to capitalize on this to go cross another item off their list, but the other wants to play it safe. Whoever they’re working for doesn’t take disappointment well, so the reluctant one has to go along either way and they get dolled up for another robbery.
Maria Hill, in the meantime, helps Miles out because Peter Parker helped her out when she was a beat cop and then she got the collar for when he put down Kangaroo, so he pretty much made her career and she wants to help them both. At the same time, Green Goblin pays JJJ a visit in his penthouse apartment while the faux Spider-Men go rob an evidence room that holds super powered goodies.
Green Goblin, now Osborn again, paid JJJ a visit so he can go on record and give him an interview. It turns out that Miles’ Venom Blast managed to fry the crazy out of him for a time, making him more lucid and capable of remembering he killed his son. He believes that SHIELD, Roxxon, and Hydra are responsible and he needs to take power because those in power took everything from him. When he confirms he’s not done fighting, JJJ tries to put him out of his misery with a bullet, but considering how the last few times someone has done that hasn’t worked out that’s probably just a waste.
As the comic ends, Miles goes back to Queens while wearing a shirt over his uniform, which should bring up alarm bells either way, and goes to see MJ. He asks if Peter is there and she tries to send him away, but Peter then tells her to let him in so they can talk.
Okay, review time.
Well, this is sort a wind-down after that big battle the last time. While I would have loved to see how Katie Bishop, Jessica Drew, Aunt May, and Gwen Stacy took the news, we did learn why Maria Hill is so supportive of Miles. But seriously, I mean really, the one guy who shoots happens to land the shot on someone with Spider-Sense?
Unless Miles being injured later on makes it so that Peter has to die again to save him, it’s a waste. Anyway, 4 out of 5.
The Thor and Jane melodrama
Well, not exactly Thor, but we’ll get to that. You guys all saw the movie, right? The handsome, selfish god falls in love with a beautiful, selfless astrophysicist Jane Foster. A delightful tale and perfect for the movie, but not terribly true in the comics. Mainly because Thor doesn’t love Jane, but the goddess Sif. Y’see, the connection between the thunder god and Jane relies on a single man: Dr. Donald Blake.
Here’s the real origin on Thor from Journey to Mystery #84 in 1952, written by Stan Lee and drawn by Jack Kirby. Thor premiered the issue before, but this is the first appearance of Jane:
Complete with all the secret identity stuff that made comics great back then:
Most of you should have no idea who Don is, and that’s totally normal. As comics have progressed and stories evolved, Don’s presence has been diminished and subsequently done away…
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Sugar Bits September 2014 Update 1
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RWBY Season II Episode 7
Visit Rooster Teeth
A ninja in black…
The episode starts off at the party with Ozpin and the others, as well as Ironwood. Jaune and Ruby share a moment of being socially awkward until Ruby reveals Weiss is without a date and he tries to go ask her out, until he saw Pyrrha looking down and followed her to the balcony. Pyrrha couldn’t get a date, much to Jaune and my shock. She basically states she’s been placed on a pedestal so she’s seen as too unattainable and she wishes she came with a guy who was like him, who saw him for who he is.
Neptune comes out after she leaves and Jaune tears into him until he reveals he can’t dance. It does wonders for Jaune’s ego, but he ultimately tells Neptune to go tell Weiss if he really likes her. He sits by her and chat while Ruby and Yang watch as Jaune puts on a dress and dances with Pyhrra and Nora takes Lie onto the floor and they do a really good dance routine.
Team CRME, on the other hand, watches from above. Ruby, however, goes off to the balcony and sees Cinder dressed like a ninja. She decks a guard and the straight-up kicks the rest of their asses like no-one’s business. Ruby calls for her locker rocket and gets Crescent Rose when she sees the the knocked out guard and the fighting starts util General Ironwood arrives and Cinder vanishes back into the party to dance with Mercury as the episode ends.
I was expecting something drastic with all the foreshadowing, but time will tell. 4 out of 5!
Avengers Undercover #10 (Series Finale) Review
The finale of Avengers Undercover is here! How does it end? Read my review of Avengers Undercover #10 and find out!
The comic starts out with Arcade when he first approached Zemo, who makes it clear that the events of Avengers Arena weren’t worthy of respect, only the technology. For that reason Zemo gave the one who actually made the technology, Corriander, a position of power. As for Arcade, he was zapped, his image grafted onto a meat suit by Hellstrom, and then locked into a cell.
In the present the heroes, who for some reason that Hill expressly points out decided to barge into protected territory on the urgings of the kids, are digging their way out. Again, since when does SHIELD have a sorcery department and what do they do that warrants them being called Necromancers? I don’t see anyone raising the dead there besides Hellstrom.
While they’re doing that various villains over the world are raising hell, which for some reason one of the other dozens of non-SHIELD affiliated heroes are jumping on. Only in an Avengers title, even if in name. Zemo strokes his own ego while Constrictor and Masque go to the lower levels for a final sweep and catch Cammi once again.
Zemo then broadcasts to the world that SHIELD has basically been spying on them like Big Brother and asks who the real villain is. Cue Cammi in god-mode curb-stomping everyone. I mean that literally. She then tells the world about Arcade being alive and the stupid undercover plan, before leaving Earth because she doesn’t feel like she belongs there.
The rest of the kids get off scot-free courtesy of Maria Hill being uncharacteristically generous, especially when you consider that while they didn’t commit actual murder they did commit several criminal acts while on an unsanctioned undercover mission. But since they have to force a happy ending, cue everyone alive and well chilling out on a lake, even the rest of the Runaways they forgot like Klara and Old Lace. Except for Gert, because apparently she stays dead no matter what.
The comic ends with Zemo and his crew, including Alex and Death Locket sailing out in their brand-new Helicarrier into the sunset…. Literally.
Okay, review time.
Well, it ended in a way that I honestly expected so I can’t blast them for that, but it feels a little unfulfilling. While I came for the Runaways and stayed for them, not much changed in the grand scheme of things. Where they’ll pop up next I have no idea, but here’s hoping it’s in something I can actually read where the art isn’t atrocious in the end…
But it’s still better than All-New Ultimates on all accounts. The issue and series as a whole gets a 3 out of 5.
New Warriors #9 Review
The New Warriors have retrieved Haechi from the Inhumans, but what happens next? Read my review of New Warriors #9 and find out.
The comic starts with a flashback of some guy in a bear mascot suit named Choke getting hit by a meteorite from space. The chances are one in a few million, but given I’ve seen Chronicle and this is the marvel universe, bad things are coming. It then goes to the present where Scarlet Spider decks Justice for bringing them back to Houston because a lot of crap went down there. Justice wants to know if he’s really planning on quitting when Hummingbird wants to stay and he thinks she’s better off with them rather than him. You can see he’s still going through some self-esteem issues, but that gets shelved when that mascot from before pops up while the size of a skyscraper and calls him out.
With the others, they try and console Hummingbird about Scarlet Spider leaving but she’s sure he’ll be back. Instead she tells them they should be worry about Haechi since everyone he loves think he’s a monster and his own people tried to kill him. Again, she’s about as subtle as a brick in abusing the empath-powers, but they all agree that a Rave in Prague is the perfect distraction.
I should mention that the Midwest only has one team of superheroes compared to… all of them being on the east coast, so Choke could pretty much run wild for ages until he grew bored and left for Mexico. He apparently sees himself as a rival to Scarlet Spider, and well… he’s insane. I’m not even going to say evil, but insane. Anyway, he thinks that Scarlet Spider is a villain and there isn’t enough room for two of them, so Scarlet Spider leaves and the bear mascot decides that Justice will be an adequate replacement for the time being.
Scarlet Spider’s departure is halted when someone shoots at him, only for him to find its Lieutenant Layton from the Scarlet Spider series. He did it to grab his attention and apologizes for the last time they met, which was responsible for him leaving if you include the shape-shifter and crazy one-night stand (seriously, go read the Scarlet Spider series) but states that he’s a hero. Scarlet Spider leaves, saying he’s wrong, but Layton is certain he’ll help.
With the others the bouncer won’t let them in since Nova is a kid. They promptly have Hummingbird brain-blast him. Inside the Rave, Hummingbird notes that Sun Girl and Haechi have some chemistry and they should enjoy it while they can. When asked what that means, she does the whole oracle thing and states she’s going to die soon without realizing it. Foreshadowing ho!
Justice gets knocked around a bit before Scarlet Spider jumps in and they talk. He still has a lot of baggage because he feels he failed being a hero in Houston and he doesn’t want Hummingbird to stay with him and suffer since he’s a bad person who’s done bad things. Justice relates, telling him that if he wants to make amends for past mistakes that’s what the New Warriors do now.
They then proceed to kick the mascot’s furry ass and Scarlet Spider guts him only to see that inside of the bear was a twig of a student. Turns out the suit was enhanced by the meteorite while he drives it like a robot, not that it matters once Justice tears it to shreds. They then have a bonding moment as the comic ends, with Justice assuring him that he belongs with them.
Okay review time.
I honestly expected this to be filler…. And it was, kind of. But I came for Scarlet Spider in the first place and despite the ridiculousness of the giant bear I must acknowledge this was a good read. The art was great, and there was foreshadowing…. Damn shame that Marvel plans on nuking it in three-issues… bastards.
5 out of 5.
Magneto #9 Review
The March to Axis begins in Magneto #9! Read my review below about this tie-in to the event!
The comic begins with Magneto returning to the island nation of Genosha, a land that was once a safe haven to millions of mutants after he took it from the mutant slavers and then ran it. Then Sentinels came and destroyed it, now it’s a labor camp where mutants and inhumans have been rounded up. Magneto enters through one of many escape routes he had and sees the bodies piled up, reminding him of the time when he was in a labor camp and forced to feed corpses to the fire. On his way back he passed a man named Hitzig, and endured it with the intention of killing the man.
He frees two women he finds of their collars, but they panic because if they are caught without the collar they are screwed. It’s here that he learns that Red Skull took Charles power, and he tells them to run and cower while he’ll shoulder the fight and they can live with the shame, because they lack the conviction. He recalls that he failed to kill Hitzig, but let someone else do it and lived with the shame and humiliation, intent on making amends by killing Red Skull.
Unfortunately the S-Men sneak up on him and cost him the element of surprise. Apparently he killed one of their families or more, but he’s intent on killing Red Skull and tries to do so again only to be interrupted again. They chide him for coming without back-up and even he has to agree that he was too eager to prove himself. Once goat-face girl gazes at him and strips him of his power, they corner him.
Magneto sees one of the girls from before, whose collar he removed and can project minor illusions, and tells her not to help him since there was nothing either of them could do. The S-Men then gang-beat him as the comic ends.
Okay, review time….
Yeah, I’m the glad the series is continuing but Red Skull is a monster. I always thought the Uncanny Avengers dropped the ball in letting him get away and this only proves it. I’m not exactly thrilled about the upcoming cross over, but maybe they won’t botch it as bad as they did Battle of the Atom.
5 out of 5.
Edge of Spider-Verse #1: Spider-Man Noir Review
Spider-Verse is coming and the first in the Edge of Spider-Verse series is out with Spider-Man Noir. Read my recap and review below.
Our story begins in New York 1939 in a movie theater where some people are reviewing footage caught of Spider-Man beating up some robbers and questioning whether or not there’s a place for a vigilante now that most of the mobsters have been taken out. One of the people, a woman, hopes to meet him soon for the blood of the spider-god runs through him, while Mysterio gets a diss by someone choosing to pay for a monkey over his show. Even in the past he couldn’t win…
Anyway, at the World’s Fair we have Peter, Aunt May, and Mary Jane browsing around. Apparently MJ went overseas for three years to record a war in Spain and changed, but not really relevant unless you’ve read the past series I’m assuming. They go to Mysterio’s show when Peter’s Spider-Sense starts acting up but nothing immediately comes of it, and the show ends with Peter realizing Mysterio’s a fake but saying nothing since it made MJ smile.
After the show Mysterio and his assistant go on about his plan to become a new Kingpin once they get Spider-Man’s blood when Fisk shows up telling him they got the last living member of Goblin’s gang. They do a recap about how Spider-Man got his powers before he asks about Felicia Hardy.
They go to see her, where Felicia is wearing a mask, and when she refuses to move it they kill her friend. It’s a gore-discretion shot so you can’t see, but her face has been disfigured by the last person who thought she could lead them to Spider-Man. Fisk notes that he can do nothing to her that hasn’t been done so she won’t talk, but Mysterio goes with the holding the former love interest hostage gambit.
He leaves a message in a newspaper for him to come and make a blood-sacrifice or she dies, and Peter goes along to save her while his Spider-Sense, which is new for him I guess, is blaring. At the show, where the audience thinks it’s just a show, he shows up and gets gassed, then put into a water closet death trap after having his blood taken.
Peter traps air in a web on his face to last ten minutes before breaking out of the chains and kicking Mysterio’s butt with one hit. The guy hunting Spider-Men pops up and then Otto does too and rescues him. As the comic ends Felicia steals the blood taken from Peter as he arrives to meet a few other Spider-Men in the year 2099.
Okay review time.
Spider-verse is shaping up to look decent. This is only the second time I’ve seen Spider-Man Noir, the first being the Shattered Dimensions game, so I don’t know much about him, but I’m eager to see his role in things. I can’t wait for this crossover to continue with Gwen Stacy next in line.
5 out of 5 folks.
Amazing Spider-Man # 6 (2014) Review
So, will the world learn of Spider-Man’s secret identity in issue #6 of the new series? Read my review and find out.
Picking up where the comic ended, JJJ once again tries to expose Peter’s identity to the world instead of doing something to stop it, with everyone in a panic that its’ about to happen….except JJJ stood in the dead center of the shot. Contrived, maybe, but no one was fooled into thinking otherwise. Even though Black Cat gets the mask off, Silk manages to wrap his head before they can get a decent shot and splits with him.
Black Cat then goes to a villain bar to get muscle, but no one really sees her as much since she’s working with Electro, who killed basically half of their numbers when he tried to bust into the prison. Meanwhile Silk and Anna are getting Peter onto his feet as Electo asks Sajani if the device can really cure him when Black Cat arrives. Later on they’re getting ready to prep the device when Black Cat and Electro sneak in while Peter and Silk keep making out in the backseat when she senses something wrong because her spider-sense is better and then suit up, while Anna gets a promotion.
Anna goes to shut the project down and clear the area when Black Cat and Electro get to the machine and she uses it to amp up his power as the web-slinging duo arrive. Black Cat decides to turn Electro into a bomb and its killing him, meaning if he’s really Spider-Man and not Otto, he’d save Electro. Yeah, needless to say he gets right into it and she condemns them both to death before Silk saves them.
In the aftermath Electro is depowered, Silk goes to work for the news company in order to search for her family, Black Cat is back into good graces with the villains and is intent on copying Catwoman on being a new Kingpin (real subtle Marvel), and Sajani arrives to see Anna getting along with Peter. As the comic ends we see that Sajani actually told Black Cat willingly how to destroy the device because it was a bad business model, which doesn’t paint her in a very good light. Then again, she joined up with Otto’s graces…
Okay, review time.
Well, this first arc has been… interesting. The flaws are they’ve basically killed all the character development Black Cat had and they are pushing Silk like an overeager drug-dealer outside a rehabilitation center with a banner stating the first one’s free. I mean come on, we get she’s new and awesome. I even approve of the whole web-shaping abilities and how she can change them, but being faster and better Spider-Sense?
Anyway, still loved the rest of it so…4 out of 5.
September 2014 Grim Tales Update 1
Read the rest of the comics at Snafu-Comics
RWBY Season II Episode 6
Too much feels…
The episode has Ruby still in a slump over Blake not coming to the dance, but Yang assures her that she’ll be there. Sun and Neptune arrive then and ask about the dance, with Sun asking if Blake will be there. Dude has it bad for her. Yang, once again assures them that Blake will be there and proceeds to taunt her with a laser pointer in the library to get her attention.
We then go to a shirtless Lie Ren who gets dragged out by Jaune before he can get dressed. Jaune apparently really had it bad for Weiss, for some reason, and asks Lie for advice about girls since he’s apparently with Nora. The two deny it but, they’re not fooling anyone. Pyrrha arrives and tells him to tell her how he feels while being honest and he leaves to do so. You see, this is why Pyrrha can’t get him to notice she has feelings, she’s too nice to everyone. How’s he supposed to notice she like him? Nora agrees with me and tells her to practice what she preaches.
Meanwhile, with Yang and Blake, Yang tells Blake about how Ruby’s mother was killed and her father lost both her and Yang’s mother. Yang wanted to find her mother, who went missing, and then took Ruby with her to search for her. Note this was where Ruby was a toddler, so they were screwed if Qrow didn’t show up. Yang learned to take it slow after that, even though she still searches for her mother and tells Blake to slow down, not stop, and if she comes with her to the dance she’ll save her one.
Then we go to Jaune looking for Weiss, who is asking out Neptune out. You can see the exact moment his heart breaks in 10:02. He’ll get better I’m sure…
Anyway, night of the dance we have Ruby struggling to stand up in heels, Sun going with Blake, Blake dancing with Yang (yeah, Bumblebee-ship is going to go nuts), and Ozpin showing up to talk with Ruby about how moments like these are the memories you treasure. The video ends as Emerald and Mercury arrive.
Well, we learned more about Yang and Ruby so it answers much for me. Still can’t wait for next episode. 4 out of 5.
Spider-Man 2099 (2014) #3 Review
A bit late, but my Spider-Man 2099 #3 review is here. Read on!
The comic opens with Miguel being told by Liz to get to work by accompanying Ty to a foreign country to go and sell the Spider-Slayers that got hacked by the Green Goblin a bit ago. He’s not eager, but she’s calling the shots for now so he agrees reluctantly. Miguel believes they’re being merchants of Death, but Ty sees it as by providing superior weapons that the fighting will stop since no one will want to fight against them once they demonstrate their power.
They promptly get attacked when the plane lands and, lacking a Spider-Sense, Miguel almost gets a bullet in the head from a sniper. When they try to kill him up-close things go much better for him, but Ty gets kidnapped and Miguel has to go after him to save his own skin since if he snuffs it then Miguel stops existing. He grabs a jeep and chases after him, since he has a tracker on the man, but has trouble believing how hard the capital has been hit by the poverty due to all the fighting.
Ty finds himself in the rebel group’s base. They basically give him the ultimatum of making a recording of canceling the sale of the weapons or killing him. He pretty much agrees to what keeps him alive, admitting that his priority is his own life. The rebel leader actually looks like she’s making ground on trying to convince him to try turning the robots on the one buying them as Miguel arrives, only for the guard they brought to protect the shipment of robots to get there.
It’s Scorpion. Last time we checked he was severely injured, but now he’s good enough to make threats. While Miguel is all for him freeing Ty, he won’t let him kill the other people and moves to stop him. Scorpion thinks he’s the normal Spider-Man in another new costume, but decides he doesn’t care since the Spider-Slayers are there and he’s a spider to slay as the comic ends.
Okay, review time…
It wasn’t a bad issue. But there wasn’t much humor to be had and it was actually pretty grim looking considering the current circumstances in the world. And most of the suspense was killed since we know both Ty and Miguel are coming out alive one way or another.
I’ll call it a 3 out of 5.
All-New X-Factor #13 Review
What has come about due to Pietro’s admission of guilt last issue? Read this review of All-New X-Factor #13 to find out.
The comic opens with Harrison Snow more than a little displeased about what came out last issue at the press-conference. He wants Polaris to fire Quicksilver to save face, but she tells him if Quicksilver goes the team goes. It shows that, as messed up as the Magus family is, they do have strong family bonds. Unable to lose the entire team, Snow lets it go as long as they don’t hide anything else important, which prompts Gambit to say he runs the Thieves’ Guild, Doug is obsessed he might turn evil, Polaris may have been responsible for killing her mother, and Warlock might turns nuts. They leave out afterwards and Gambit reassures her she was a decent leader before kissing her and getting slapped, but to be fair he said he had it coming….somehow.
Luna, in the meantime, hangs out with Georgina in the middle of brooding when she suddenly decides to come with them on their visit to a historical site. Warlock tries hanging out with Danger and once the topic of sex between them comes up, somehow, he bolts. I’m as confused as Doug was, wasn’t that what he was going for?
Quicksilver is with his daughter and Georgina, who he notices is off and calls Luna out for using her powers on her. Luna says she wanted to help her because she was depressed and is actually happy he talks to her like a father since things with her mother are off since she left her last boyfriend, Ronan. It’s about here that another Inhuman, Gorgon, has come chasing after Luna since she ran away without telling anyone and proceeds to try and kill Quicksilver.
Georgina tries to make him go away, but he tries to stomp her and Quicksilver gets her and Luna out of there before laying on the hurt. He doesn’t do well since a thousand hits from him don’t pack enough punch. Polaris shows up and does much better with cannonballs until Quicksilver tries to say it’s his fight and gets hit from behind.
Luna’s mother, Crystal, shows up to end things here and take her daughter back. Despite her clearly being upset with him, he does apologize that things between her and her last boyfriend didn’t work out. She lets Luna stay with him until she returns as the comic ends.
Okay, review time…
I found this issue sweet in we see family bonds, with sparse moments of comedy. It was okay for a filler issue to me and touching. So I’ll give it a 4 out of 5.