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Archive for June 5, 2014

All-New X-Factor 9 Review

A day late and a dollar short, but here’s my review of All-New X-Factor # 9!

Our story starts with two men monitoring a random woman in ways that not even SHIELD gets to, invading her privacy and watching as she changes. Although at least one of them has the decency to act better, they’ve apparently been doing this for years without her knowing. Yes, it is disturbing. But anyway, what they were sure was going to be a boring day turns interesting when the X-Factor crew shows up on her doorstep with Georgina and they decide to call in their boss.

The comic then picks up in the aftermath of what happened last issue, with Snow furious about what happened. He has that right, they’re his team and they broke five or six laws while on his payroll without even telling him. We’ll just pretend he isn’t violating her rights with his eye-camera. But as mad is he is, he doesn’t break up the team and just asks them to inform him of shit like this so he can get a say in rather than having to take a matter transporter over to save their asses.

Georgina isn’t all that happy with her circumstances and Cypher and Danger don’t exactly make her feel better, despite their best efforts. But Gambit, who said nothing the plane ride over while thinking how messed up that last mission was, gets a thanks and a hug. This is enough to make Cypher jealous and push past him on the way out, but Gambit decides to let it slide and go drinking, where he runs across Angela and the flirting starts over drinks.

Meanwhile Georgina gets a tour of the place and at the Computer Center the crazy guy there decides to go an experiment on her and has his computer bite her. Her DNA is taken and then the computer brings up her personal history to a level that, again, SHIELD wishes they had. Including the fact that she’s adopted and her actual mother is still alive.

Georgina wants to go visiting, which Quicksilver supports and if they deny her the right he says he’d run her over to Dakota in minutes (since when he’s carrying someone else he has to drop the speed or turn them to dust). Harrison calms them down by saying they can take the plane in the morning and Cypher does the same thing he did to Gambit to Quicksilver since Georgina hugged him.

The next morning we spy Gambit after having gotten laid last night with Angela when Linda walks in and reveals that he just slept with his Boss’s wife. Now, to be fair, he didn’t know and neither the husband nor the wife seems to know the definition of faithful. But this won’t end well.

We then pick up from where the comic began with Georgina’s mother happy to see her and inviting her in. This happiness lasts about thirty seconds before Georgina’s father shows up, her birth father, and levels the place. He goes by the name Memento Mori and kidnaps his daughter as the comic ends. What a dick.

Okay review time…

An overall okay transitional issue. No complaints really, but where the hell did Cypher’s crush on the girl who turned him into a mummy come from? Was being alone in that cabin for so long enough to make him go with the girl closest to his age range?

A 4 out of 5 solid issue.


Miles Morales: Ultimate Spider-Man #2

Our story begins with Norman Osborn returning to his defunct company, Oscorp, only to find his office robbed of almost everything important except for a picture of a stallion. Why this sole painting was left hanging isn’t clear, but it’s revealed to have hidden a retinal scanner that leads to a secret lab that must’ve been operating with one massive hidden power source given the lights work after over two years. He finds whatever he’s looking for there and gets to working on whatever he has in mind for the next issue.

Meanwhile Miles touches Peter in ways that are almost inappropriate while trying to figure out how he’s alive. Peter keeps asking for the web-shooters and states that he’ll leave once he gets them, but Miles calls his ass out on why he hasn’t told anyone he’s alive. The fact that this guy tries to skirt the issue alone is sending up alarm bells.

Eventually Peter tries to take them and gets a reflexive Venom Blast for his trouble, which if he had his Spider-Sense he would have dodged because it takes about three seconds to work on contact. Then again it worked on 616-Peter…anyway, he shakes it off long enough to knock Miles on his ass and then knocks him out, taking them while he was out cold. When Miles gets up he thinks to himself that it must be a clone, which honestly isn’t that far of a stretch when you consider that Scorpion is still around as far as we know, and runs off to tell Ganke.

The imposter Spider-Men show up at a Stark facility and beat the crap out of the guards while bantering with each other, with one guard calling for back-up. He comes out when the rest are down and tells them he doesn’t get paid enough to get his ass-kicked and just tells them to take what they came for. They tell him to help get something from the boat labeled “Latveria”, which can’t be good.

Miles and Ganke talk about the Peter Parker he just ran into, with Miles dropping the bomb on Ganke that Jessica is a female clone. The boy thinks Peter must have had a great tush. Puberty hit him hard given how he seems to go after every hot older woman he knows. Anyway they discuss the merits of telling May about this or not, since she’s been so good to him and through so much pain that he doesn’t want to trouble her if he’s wrong. It doesn’t help that Jessica’s phone is off.

The discussion derails the moment Miles’ girlfriend shows up. Both of them suck at lying, so she quickly figures something is wrong and asks if he’s breaking up with her. The comic ends as he decides to just come clean.

Okay, review time.

Not much progress other than the fact that “Peter” is being secretive and kind of a dick, shocker. Good art though. I’ll give it a 4 out of 5 for the time being.