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Archive for April 3, 2014

The complete story of Bill and Kelda, Pt. 3

Arousing Grammar

We don’t need a lengthy introduction, right?  Bill died at the hand of Asgardian traitors and Kelda’s out for revenge on those that killed him.  Like Loki and Doctor Doom.  But y’see, while Loki’s the god of trickery and mischief, the evil doctor doesn’t bother with smokescreens and wild goose chases.  You want him?  He’s in that giant castle with his likeness plastered on it.  Go get him.

BillKelda45

Kelda is no pushover.  She has all that Asgardian super strength and durability as well as that whole summoning lightning and ice from the heavens thing.  But let’s be fair: Doctor Doom’s normal battles are when he fights the entire Fantastic Four at once.  To be the arch-nemesis of an entire team of superheroes takes some tremendous skill.

BillKelda46

BillKelda47

Doom’s not exactly a shoulder to cry on.  Remember that one story where he sacrificed his childhood lover just for a fraction more of magical…

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The complete story of Bill and Kelda, Pt. 2

Damn, at least he went out like a warrior.

Arousing Grammar

Let’s not delay this love story, shall we?  As we left off, Bill Cobb Jr. (human diner chef) joined his love Kelda Stormrider (Asgardian ice goddess) aboard the teleporting Asgard. Y’see Loki, in all his primal trickery, manipulated current Asgardian king Balder to exile Thor and bring all the gods and goddesses to Latveria.  If you ever forget, Latveria is the tiny European country ruled by Doctor Doom’s iron fist.  Also, a fine place for hopes and dreams and freedoms to die a brutal death.  But can you argue the power of love?  It makes men do strange things, like sending Bill into the midst of angry Asgardian politics when his only real brush with danger before this is getting too close to the grill. Still, you see what Kelda looks like — that’s a level of beauty only possible on a fictional scale.

BillKelda20

BillKelda21

We forget that despite Bill’s whole mortality and public school…

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The complete story of Bill and Kelda, Pt. 1

Arousing Grammar

Superheroes stories are essentially dramas with lots of punching and primary colors. We can argue all day about morality, role in society, or literary value, but what’s the point in denying we love comics the same way middle-aged women love Keeping Up With the Kardashians?  And yes, our entertainment form has subjectively far more quality, but everyone craves stories.  We choose to get ours through superheroes — let’s embrace our common traits judgement free.  So today, in my largest collection of pages I’ve ever gathered on this site (77 pictures laid out over three or four articles), I hope to present to you a love story guaranteed to make your heart soar and soak your face with tears.  Most likely.

Please make these comics part of your collection: we’ll be using Thor #2-12Giant-Size Finale, and 600-613, volume three, written by J. Michael Straczynski & Kieron…

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Ultimate Spider-Man #200 Review

It’s been a long time coming, but Ultimate Spider-Man #200 is here, making way for Miles’ own series alongside the All-New Ultimates. I’ll probably review them both when the time comes, but until then you’ll get this one.

It begins with Ganke and Miles making their way to Aunt May’s home by Bus, which Ganke complains about since if they took the webbing they could have been their sooner. Miles points out that’s not what it’s for and it’s expensive to make, before asking why Ganke bought a gift possibly made of Legos. He reveals that it’s for Gwen Stacy, who he’s crushing on hard. We can’t blame him for it since she’s hot and older than him. But Miles tells him not to get his hopes up as they arrive.

Mary Jane arrives after them, but her boyfriend ducks out because he figures it would be all kinds of awkward. She tells him not to get hit by a car as he leaves and he nearly does get run over by Lana and Jessica who were also on the way. We then cut to Bobby, Johnny Storm, and Liz Allen, having a moment before we gaze upon the gathering inside May’s home.

To everyone’s surprise, Gwen likes whatever Ganke got her and gives him a kiss that leaves him probably the happiest geek in the world. Way to go for chubby lego geeks everywhere! We then get a visit from Tony Stark’s Girl Friday, Pepper Potts. He couldn’t make it so he sent over a gourmet meal that will last for days judging by the amount.

Kitty Pryde arrives after that and gets warm greetings all around. She gives Miles a hug as thanks for helping her during Cataclysm and received a medal from the President for her actions during that event. Kong shows up, who apparently ran away with her sometime before and it didn’t work out considering how close she is with Wolverine Jr. Jameson is there as well, but decides to go back to the city since there’s nothing he can do there after Peter’s loss.

Once they’d all eaten, they start discussing their dreams about what it would be like if Peter grew up (note that they’ve met an adult version of him from Earth-616). MJ saw him as the leader of the Ultimates in the future, possibly the greatest hero of all time, while May saw him combining being a hero with advance tech to make the Spider Corps, and Gwen saw him as a reporter…which is pretty much what his 616 counterpart was before going the scientist route. Miles wishes that he had gone to see Peter when he first gained his powers and imagines being a team, as a side-kick or partner. Kitty saw them being married and forming a team with the X-Men, while Bobby just ripped off the cartoon loosely based off the series.

In the end they all feel like doing something good in Peter’s name and goes to the Mission to give to those in need and there is a lot of people after Galactus showed up and ate New Jersey. When they get done the group parts, with Ganke getting another kiss (go Ganke!), Kitty being escorted by Kong, Jessica taking Lana home, Liz, Bobby, and Johnny taking flight, and it ends with Gwen and MJ hugging while a mysterious person watches from the shadows.

Okay, review time.

This…this is a damn good issue, a tribute to Peter Parker even after his death. The art, the story, all of it was perfect. For once I have no complaints and can’t wait for the first issue in Miles’ new series.

It’s not a 5 out of 5, it’s a damn 10 out of 5, 200% and a must buy.


New Warriors #3 Review

The third issue of New Warriors is out now, and my review comes with it as a packaged deal, so read on.

It opens with the High Evolutionary spouting out the history of the Celestials and how their meddling led to the birth of just about every single super-powered being on the planet Earth to Nova, the young and inexperienced newcomer, when his men arrive with Scarlet Spider, Water Snake, and Hummingbird. He has samples collected from them and then orders them imprisoned. Why he didn’t have them killed instead is unknown to me, but it will bite him in the ass.

Back in New York City, our new inhuman gets the same treatment as mutants have for the last few decades. The cops blame him for the train incident and shoot at his ass. Luckily they have Justice to get them out of their and he, being a mutant, understands what he’s going through while Sun Girl says he should embrace what he’s become. Justice tells her politely that she has no idea what he’s going through because she can take off her gear and be human while they can’t. Her counter point is to shoot at Mark.

Scarlet Spider wakes to find himself imprisoned and being called Spider-Man by Nova, which is sort of a berserk button to him. Hummingbird presses Nova’s button by calling his name over and over in the same way that she annoyed the X-Men when Scarlet Spider teamed up with Wolverine. And here’s the thing, while the Scarlet Spider doesn’t have his Spider-Sense anymore, he’s stronger than his original, has spikes, organic webs, a monster form, and he can talk to spiders, which is exactly how he gets out of his prison like a badass.

We cut back to Justice, Speedball, Mark, and Sun Girl, who is inside a telekinetic bubble. I want to agree that Speedball is right that she’s unhinged for shooting at Mark to demonstrate his powers. There were a dozen ways that could have gone wrong, but she’s so bent on being a hero that she thinks it’s a sign they need to handle this threat. She goads Justice into trying, but instead he insists they find Nova.

Speaking of Nova, he and the other three are now freed and armored up, but they run across a bunch of evolutionaries and they get zerg-rushed. They put up a good fight so that Nova can get away, but he goes back to help them and the issue ends with him being mobbed too.

Okay, Review Time!

This issue fleshed out our characters further as the plot moves on.

Mark didn’t ask to be an Inhuman. Like the new Ms. Marvel, he got hit with the Terrigen Mist and changed, but he can’t hide what he is. In a mutant sense, he’s like a Morlock and she’s an X-Men.

Speaking of Mutant, Justice can understand how he’s feeling and tries to relate so he can cope, while Sun Girl feels he should embrace it. We can see he’s worldly and more calculated in his actions while Sun Girl is still new at the hero thing and optimistic. That’ll change if she sticks around, but in the meantime Speedball is playing peace-keeper.

As for the other three, Scarlet Spider repeatedly states he’s not Spider-Man, but it’s obvious he still has an inferiority complex about it. Aracely maintains her chatty nature, but contrasts Nova by being supportive of her guardian, while the other kid wants Spider-Man. Water Snake makes it clear that she’s a warrior and was intent on going down fighting. Nova, being an amateur, does have a good heart but he did make a mistake in staying since the high evolutionary needs his helmet and him sticking around to try and save three people doomed so many other.

Overall, the issue gets a 5 out of 5.