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Archive for March 26, 2014

All-New X-Factor #5 Review

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Out of one murder attempt by a future member and into another as All-New X-Factor #5 picks up shortly after the end of the previous issue. This is my review of it.

This time around the story opens with Gambit waking up to find a woman in his room while he’s naked beneath the sheets. While this probably wouldn’t be uncommon for him, he didn’t invite Danger to bed last night so he’s confused as hell when he finds her there. She claims that his kiss reset some of her functions, but she needs more interaction to become whole. Better than nothing as an excuse to why kissing her worked I supposed.

It seems that Gambit isn’t the only one who woke with a pretty woman in his room. Harrison Snow, like all married but corrupt CEOs, is having an affair with Linda from his company. Their post-coitus talk is of a new player on the computer market that Harrison wants to buy out and he’s having a meeting with him later on. As he leaves out, he tells her to be out by the time his wife gets back from her business trip and then goes about his day with a swagger in his step.

Quicksilver and Polaris are already up, sharing breakfast and exchanging obscure trivia when Gambit tells them Danger is in his room. Polaris brings up the possibility that she wants him sexually, and Quicksilver sees nothing wrong with it. Then again, their sister married Vision and then magic’d up some kids so…

Anyway, Harrison pops by to tell them he wants them at the meeting and Quicksilver runs out to tell Havok, who somehow comes out acting like even more of a sell-out asshole than normal. He’s like one of those damn stalkers who have a PI following your every step. Quicksilver makes it back to Serval before they think he’s done in the bathroom, smooth as silk, only for Danger to sense his vitals and know he’s been running, but he gets out of it by lying. Same goes for Linda when Danger notes that she has Harrsion’s DNA on her in a way that only comes from being intimate with one another.

The meeting takes two turns, the first being the guy who Harrison planned to buy out turned to be The Magus, an enemy leader of an alien race. Danger discovers this by putting her hand through his chest, and Polaris gives its metallic butt a one-way trip out of the building. The second is when Warlock shows up defending his father, before the two of them split.

I’m sure they didn’t wake up planning to get into a brawl, but now that they were in it they were going to get some answers. And so, as the comic ends, Polaris suggests they pay a little visit to Doug Ramsey aka Cypher of the X-Men, aka the guy who can talk to anything and read any language.

A bit more crude humor-wise, but character development is always welcomed. I’ll give it a 4 out of 5.

 


Superior Spider-Man #30 Review

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Someone dies tonight in Superior Spider-Man #30 and you can find out by reading my review of it.

This big issue starts off with Superior Spider-Man and Spider-Man 2099 beating down on the hijacked Spider-Slayers when the Goblin King shows him he has Anna Marie hostage and gives him an ultimatum. He’ll give him a pass to finding her if he leaves Spidey 2099 to fight the robots alone, which he can’t possibly handle on his own. Otto ditches his ass, leaving Miguel calling him a fake because the real one wouldn’t do that.

As he swings over the city, we see that it is still going to Hell and for once Otto blames himself completely. The Avengers are busy handling their own things, when Iron Man and Captain America claim they can’t over look Cardiac’s clinic having the stuff it has and since Spider-Man helped they’re going to arrest him too once this is over.

Really? You can’t unsee the whole medical treatment thing and want to arrest Cardiac and Spider-Man for that? Bullshit.

Leaving aside how the super-cops constantly break the damn rules to do what (they believe) is right, this is what you’re trying to arrest him about? Of all the flimsy-ass things, the fact that they are punishing two men for giving life-saving medical treatment to people who need it (the very same people they are supposed to be pulling from the wreckage) really doesn’t do wonders for my opinion of them. And after AvsX and Uncanny Avengers, that’s saying something.

JJJ is completely and royally fucked at City Hall, since his bots went rogue. He shifts the blame, but Liz Allen has paperwork saying she warned him they weren’t tested and ready. A traitor shot reveals she has a Goblin Mask, making it clear this was how the Goblin King got control over them, doing it for her son’s sake.

Menace leads Otto underground as Peter, in the Mindscape, reaches the point where he gave Otto his memories before his first death while in Otto’s body. In other words, he gives himself his own memories that Otto remembered, that he lived. Yeah, wrap your head around that for a minute. In the end he recovers his own sense of self and pops out of it to make Otto jump and save the little girl who he performed brain surgery on from being hit by a train.

Otto decides enough is enough and calls them both out on their flaws as they swing back to his lab at Parker Industries (which Peter has no idea where it came from). Otto was arrogant, flawed, and liked to overcompensate, while Peter was so guilt-ridden about being better than others that he sabotaged himself. So they both have to own up, with Peter saving the day as the Superior Spider-Man while Otto erases himself from the Mindscape so he isn’t distracted.

The comic ends with Peter getting dressed in his old suit and saying it’s his turn to play Goblin’s little game.

It may be a little pre-mature, but I feel as though if they were really going to wipe the slate clean (get Peter back to being a Street Hero rather than an Avenger, ruin all his previous relationships, make him a menace, etc.) in time for the upcoming movie, they could have done it in another way. Then again, it worked. I came into this series all for Otto and, while I still think he made good points and l liked his character, now I’m cheering on Peter.

So this issue gets an 5 out of 5. Well-played, Marvel. Well-played…


Thing loves Invisible Woman

Truly a touching love story in the grim darkness of the Ultimate Universe.

Arousing Grammar

Well, in the Ultimate universe.  For those not up to date, the early 2000s brought us an entire different Marvel universe, where all the heroes de-aged back to when their voices still cracked.  It went well for a good decade or so until Ultimatum event came around.  Because the Ultimate universe isn’t technically canon, the writers have free rein to destroy and mutilate their world and characters as they see fit.  And oh my goodness, did they.  If your name wasn’t attached to a series title, you were almost certain to perish during the event — and even that didn’t save the majority of X-Men.

But rising from the remains of Ultimatum allowed for ideas that could have never gone to fruition before. Like our two characters in the title.  And a new supervillain that terrorizes the entire Ultimate universe for years and years: Mr. Fantastic.  But I’m jumping ahead…

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March 2014 Grim Tales Update 2


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