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Archive for July 31, 2013


Uncanny X-Men #9 Review

Uncanny X-Men v3 009-000

Cyclops was right.

No matter what anyone says, I believe that as long as he doesn’t flip his shit and do something immensely stupid. Thus I follow him in Uncanny X-Men, where his revolution is underway…well, more like training right now, but the point remains. Cyclops wants equality for mutants, yet every one of his old allies is labeling him a terrorist when so far he’s only helped those who needed it.

Tempus manifested her powers by accident and created a time bubble that lasted for 20 hours, but no one was hurt, and the moment Emma helped her dropped it the military had guns trained on her.  Triage’s friend fell over dead and he laid hands on her and brought her back, discovering he was a healer, only to get arrested for it. Goldballs (well, Fabio since he never officially took it) was working as a fast food vendor when his powers manifested and the cops tazed his ass. Hijack was simply experimenting with his powers, hurting no one in the process, and his girlfriend sold him out to some security guards who promptly shot him and then threatened to do the same to her.

I’m not seeing a terrorist here, but apparently everyone else is. While Wolverine is keeping the ones he finds inside the school walls where they don’t face the cruelty of the world, Cyclops is doing as he promised at the end of X-Men: Consequences and keeping them alive. I respect both of them and see the merit in both of their ways, but there is no doubt that Cyclops is doing what’s necessary.

Now, setting aside my rant, we are going into issue 9, which is after Fabio was returned home by Cyclops after he asked to because he got sent to Hell. Like Cyclops said, it’s not for everyone and the X-Men get sent there all the time for one reason or another. Pixie lost a part of her soul there and Magik lost even more.

Anyway, Dazzler appears and is working for SHIELD to try and get answers out of him. She’s being reasonable until Fabio’s Dad tried to shoot her and she went off like a flashbang. Not a good outing for her first assignment.

Cyclops is training the newbies as David Wong (calling him Hijack if he’s Mexican is going to cause some issues I’m sure) demonstrates his power by lifting their plane. Yes, as Benjamin discovered, they do have a plane. Where they got it I have no idea.

Irma Cuckoo decided to be her own woman and difference herself from her identical sisters by dyeing her hair black after cutting it. Emma (their mother…sort of, science was involved) supports the vie for individuality while Celeste, who seems to be the new leader of the Hive Mind, sees it as an affront. Given how they lost two of their sisters because one tried to be different I see her reasons for panic, but they should be individuals in the end. Christopher Muse (Triage) also likes it, which earns him some points in her book.

Then comes the news Fabio has been caught. As Emma points out he doesn’t know where they are so they could leave him. But does Cyclops do that to an innocent mutant who has done no wrong…Hell no.

Alison Blair (Dazzler) is being patient in doing her job and questioning him about Cyclops’ base, but she did have him arrested so it was natural that he kind of went mad and lost control of his power. Unlike everyone else though she doesn’t get Poinked, but Fabio won’t give the man who saved him and his team up, even if he doesn’t know anything.

At this point his faith is reward when Cyclops popped up and owned SHIELD with his team. Magneto, Cyclops, Emma, and Magik are somewhat amicable to Alison since they all know each other and ask her to join, but she remains their enemy although she doesn’t try to stop them. To screw with SHIELD a final time, he has David test his power on the carrier they’re on.

A few hours later we have Alison being drugged by Mystique, who I will admit I am surprised by given she was more likely to screw with Wolverine after he screwed up her plans in All New X-Men, her teaching career in Wolverine and the X-Men, and killed her once. She’s says its part of a bigger plan after drugging Alison and taking her appearance.

Now Cyclops has a damn good team assembled so far in the students alone:

  • Tempus: Creates time bubbles that can take out the AVENGERS.
  • Triage: Healer that can bring back the dead. Always a bonus.
  • Hijack: Technopath, useful as shown here. Sentinels are machines.
  • Stepford Sisters: Telepaths and Diamond Form, you need a telepath given how the Avengers Unity Squad don’t have one and keep getting their asses kicked.
  • Benjamin Deeds: Mystique in training, he just needs some practice.
  • Fabio: …yeah, I got nothing. Not everyone hits the jackpot, but he lasted for some time against the forces of Hell, so…
  • Angel: 05 X-Men and air superiority. As long as he doesn’t get killed and screw up the time stream its good.

But they are mostly inexperienced and there lies the problem if Mystique is playing a long game. What that game is remains to be seen, but for now my score for this issue is a 3.5 out of 5 for moving the plot along. I’m not really a fan of the artwork, so that was a point, and the synopsis lied once again as we didn’t discover a traitor within his current team working for SHIELD.



July 2013 Grim Tales Update 5

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